Short Funny Quotes About Aging (Guaranteed to Add Smile Lines)

A good laugh makes everything better. And being able to laugh at yourself is not always easy, but a habit worth fostering. Most people take themselves waaaaay too seriously. You can look in the mirror as you age and react with horror.

“Where’s my chin? Who stole my chin?!”

“Ahhh, the sheet marks from bed are still there and I’ve been up for 3 hours!”

It’s all about Attitude

You can wear large sunglasses, a scarf around your neck and a hat to hide all your new flaws. You can convert to Islam and wear a burqa. You could only go out at night. I remember being in a salon decades ago, and the lady in the chair next to me said to her hairdresser,

“I avoid bright lights.”

I was horrified. Was that my future?! I’m not going to lie; once in a while I’ll catch a glance at myself in the mirror and am blown away. Like, when did this happen? If I don’t look in the mirror I’m about 23.

Most of the time however I just live in gratitude. My wrinkles have earned me 2 lovely grown children and an amazing grandson. And I laugh about it. 

Seriously, you kind of have to laugh when you talk and the loose skin on your neck quivers. Or when you look down and can’t see your feet because there’s a belly in the way. I mean, you don’t get to see that your pedicure is chipped; that’s good, right?

Funny Quotes About Aging Bodies

My body creaks so much my doctor just prescribed WD-40!

An “all-nighter” for seniors means you didn’t have to get up to pee.

You might be getting older if at breakfast you hear, “snap, crackle and pop” but you haven’t poured the milk cereal yet.

“I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.”

Bob Hope

The twinkle in your eye is caused by light reflecting off your bifocals.

Don’t think of it as hot flashes, think of it as your inner child playing with matches

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.”

Larry Lorenzoni

I feel like a baby – no hair, no teeth and I just peed myself!

“Time may be a great healer, but it is a lousy beautician.” 

You know you’re old when…

 Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any.

When happy hour is a nap.

“You know you’re old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.”

George Burns

People start telling you how young you look.

Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

You finally know stuff, but keep forgetting it.

You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.

Getting “lucky” means you found your car in the parking lot.

It takes twice as long – to look half as good.

You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

WANT SOME MORE LAUGHS? CHECK OUT THESE FUNNY LADIES OVER 50.

Forgetful Quotes

My memory is so bad.

How bad is it?

How bad is what?

My mind is like the Bermuda Triangle. Information goes in And it’s lost forever.

Everyone has a photographic memory — Some just don’t know where the film is

They say your memory is the first – something something

There are 3 signs of old age. Number 1 is loss of memory. I forgot the other 2!

NEED SOME FEEL-GOOD QUOTES ABOUT AGING? CHECK THESE OUT.

I don’t suffer from memory loss, I enjoy it!

If my memory was a little worse I could plan my own surprise party!

Funny Old-Age Wisdom

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” – Kitty O’Neill Collins

“Getting old is a fascinating thing. The older you get, the older you want to get.”

Keith Richards

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” – Woody Allen

“I don’t believe in aging. I believe in forever altering one’s aspect to the sun.” – Virginia Woolf

“We don’t grow older, we grow riper.”

Pablo Picasso

Wrap Up

I hope a few of the quotes made you smile. My final words of wisdom (evidently I’m wise now) is that if looking in the mirror is distressing don’t do it. Problem solved.

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